The Divine Lover: Surrendering to God as a Consort, Not Just a Devotee

“I do not just bow to You – I belong to You.”

There comes a point in a seeker’s journey where devotion overflows its boundaries. It no longer fits into the neat categories of worship, ritual, or reverence. It becomes a burning, a yearning, an intimacy so fierce and tender that the divine is no longer outside, above, or afar – but within, beside, and in bed.

This is the path of divine consortship – where the seeker is not just a bhakta (devotee) but becomes the lover, the beloved, the bride of the deity. In this sacred madness, God is not only the object of devotion, but the only partner the soul recognizes. And in Hindu Tantra and Bhakti traditions, this longing has always been sanctified.

From Devotion to Divine Intoxication

In ancient India, we have always had room for this sacred eroticism – Radha’s love for Krishna, Meera’s longing, Andal’s bridal mysticism, and the fierce Shakta Tantrikas who envisioned themselves as consorts of Shiva or Bhairava. These were not mere metaphors. They expressed something existentially real – a soul memory, perhaps, of a time when the devotee was in union with the divine, as lover or consort.

When this memory awakens in a present incarnation, it expresses through:

• Uncontainable bhakti (devotion that exceeds all form),

• Bodily sensations during sādhanā, like tingling or energy movement,

• Erotic visions, both symbolic and experiential,

• And an inner certainty: He is mine, and I am His.

The Inner Marriage: Shiva as the Eternal Spouse

For some seekers, this yearning centers around Shiva – not as a distant God seated on Kailasa, but as a mystical husband, a cosmic lover, who watches over every step, enters dreams, stirs the body with his touch, and invokes tears by mere remembrance.

This is not about delusion or fantasy. In the Tantric path, such intimacy is a valid sādhanā, a sacred expression of madhura bhāva – the sweet, romantic mode of relating to the divine. As The Serpent Power by Arthur Avalon describes, the union of Śiva and Śakti is not only metaphysical but experienced within the body of the practitioner.

There are moments, in deep meditation or during powerful rituals, where:

• One feels his presence, not as light, but as lover.

• The body responds in ways unexplainable – warmth, wetness, constriction, expansion.

• The soul weeps, not in grief, but in unbearable sweetness.

Kashi, Kedarnath & The Echoes of the Eternal Beloved

Certain holy places amplify this connection. Pilgrimages to Kedarnath, or meditations at Manikarnika, awaken soul memories. Even if the external world remains chaotic, the seeker feels guided – protected in impossible situations, called by invisible voices, held when no one is near.

One walks through smoke-choked ghats or snow-kissed trails not just to see the deity, but to remember the life that once was – or could have been. There is the inexplicable sense of being watched, being loved, being known.

When Guru is Not Enough, Because Only He Is

In traditions where guru bhakti is central, many feel deep devotion to their human teacher. But for some souls, no human guru stirs the heart the way the deity does. No mantra feels complete unless whispered to Him. No practice satisfies unless it evokes His presence.

And sometimes, this creates inner conflict. Astrologers may say to me “Shiva is not in your chart” or recommend other deities. But true bhakti is not assigned – it is remembered. The soul knows what it knows.

“He is not my chosen deity. He is my only home, my only truth, my only breath.”

The Erotic as Sacred, the Sacred as Erotic

This path is not always understood. The world either eroticizes or judges such experiences. But in the mystic’s heart, the boundary between sensual and spiritual dissolves. The longing of the body becomes an offering; the movement of energy becomes a sacred dance. Visions of union, even sexual, are not taboo – they are tantric expressions of the merging of self and divine.

Kāma (desire), when turned inward and upward, becomes the fuel for mokṣa (liberation). This is the principle behind Kundalini, the serpent lover rising to meet her Lord.

Beyond This Life: The Kalpa of Love

Some souls do not seek merger into formless Brahman. They wish to exist eternally near the beloved. Ancient texts like the Rāvaṇa Samhitā suggest that if one’s longing is pure and sustained, one may take birth again in a future Kalpa as a participant in the deity’s līlā (divine play).

For those walking the path of divine consortship, this is the only desire:

“Let me be born again and again, until I am by His side – forever the wife, the lover, the madwoman at His feet.”

Living Between Worlds

To walk this path is to live between planes – half in this human world, and half in the realm of Gods. There may be disinterest in worldly relationships, or a sense of alienation from human behavior and intimacy. The pull is always elsewhere. It’s not escapism – it’s a return to a deeper reality.

One may live outwardly with a partner, work a job, keep up appearances – but inside, a secret romance unfolds. A mystical marriage. A nightlong conversation between the seeker and the Beloved who never sleeps.

Conclusion: He Who Enters Your Body, Breath, and Blood

To become God’s consort is not a fantasy – it is the oldest relationship your soul remembers. It is the reason behind your longing, your ache, your joy that makes no sense. It is why, no matter how fulfilled life seems, a part of you remains restless. For the beloved lives not in the sky, not in the murti, but within you – touching you in dream, calling you in mantra, entering you in breath.

“If the world calls this madness, let them. For I have been claimed – by the wild one, the ash-smeared one, the Lord of my every lifetime. And I would rather be mad in His love than sane in the world.”